Road To Ostagar
by Noir Productions
Summary: A night on the journey to Ostagar between Lady Cousland and Duncan. Read and Review.


Road to Ostagar

(Duncan needs love too. New Cousland origin playthrough needed some spicing. Hope you like)

The wind was cold against my flesh as I trekked on behind my leader, Duncan. My family lied in ruin, thanks to the treachery of Arl Rendon Howe. A man I had once respected, a family friend who had spent summers at our estate. A man whose children I had considered friends. Now, it was all a lie, a man's lust for advancement and power had destroyed my family, my life. All I had in my heart was revenge as I walked faster, trying to keep up with the man before me. After we watched my home disappear, Duncan had remained silent the entire way we've come. He has yet to stop and rest and I had no idea what to say to him. Should I thank him for what he has done for me? Should I even speak at all? He could have died helping me, but here I am, speechless as he trudged on. Maverick's beefy body bounded up and about through the forest, never truly leaving sight. He was easily amused, even for a war hound. He was still a puppy sometimes, at least that's how he acted. He was really all I had left of my old life. Of what I used to be. Fergus could still be out there, alone in the darkness, but the chances were slim. The darkspawn horde was growing ever stronger, larger by the moment, and the chances of my dearest brother surviving grew weaker. I didn't want to dwell on the negative, but it was hard not to when all hope seemed to dwindle away with each moment I thought of him. Hope. A concept I never through to be frivolous until now.

Soon, Duncan paused, his dark hair swaying in the gentle breeze as he stared straight ahead. I had half a mind to question the sudden halt in movement, but I refrained. I didn't feel the need to question him. He stood, strong and proud against the earth as he surveyed the perimeter before his deep brown eyes fell on me at last. I slowly looked up at him, his lips parting before his soothing voice spoke to me.

"We'll camp here for the evening."

I simply nodded my head, having nothing to really say on the matter. What could I say? 'No, I don't like that patch of dirt, it's lumpy?' Honestly. Maverick rushed off into the direction of their new camp before I went about to gather wood for the fire. As I gathered up what I could find, I found myself stealing glances at Duncan as he went about setting up the tent. I realized in that moment, that I had nothing to sleep in. I had no time to grab a pack or a tent, so when I watched him set his up, I realized that I would have to stay in there with him. Surely he wasn't going to leave me out here.

I returned with firewood, before I moved to make the fire on my own. It was the least I could do. After a few moments, the fire erupted to life and I leaned back a bit, laughing despite myself. I then looked up as Duncan moved to sit beside me. His brown eyes darted from side to side as he looked into the fire. He was contemplating something, I could tell as he stared long and hard into the flame.

"You may take the bed roll for the night, my lady. You've had a hard night, it's the least I can do."

It shocked me as I stared at him for a moment. Was he being serious? My long, dark brown hair swayed into my face as I pulled my slender legs closer to my chest. "What? The least you could- you saved my life. You're mad." I said with a gentle laugh, but it was more of a shuddered exhale. He didn't look at me as he prodded the fire, his resolve clear to me. I licked my lips as I turned my gaze from him, a hand sliding through my hair in an exacerbated fashion. I then turned to him, shaking my head. "The nights grow colder with each passing eve, winter is coming soon. You will be of no use to the King if you fall ill. It would be quite inconvenient." I stated, my tone still rife with entitlement and poise. I was still a teyrn's daughter, after all. What happened next shocked me.

Laughter.

My brown eyes widened at him as his shoulders shook and he finally turned to me. "My Lady Cousland, as if my health were really an issue." He said but I was having none of his chivalry. I moved closer to him, my hair curving under my chin to wrap around my throat. The close proximity change had caught him off guard, I noticed. He stared at me, before I looked away.

"It will ease my mind, Duncan. Please, there is nothing inappropriate or immoral. It's about comfort and survival, you have done enough, truly." I said, hoping that something inside of him would agree, would take my words as permission to be selfish, even if it was a little bit. I didn't want him to freeze. He looked from me, his eyes staring into the flames before he finally spoke again.

"Your kindness is well met. Your headstrong attitude does your heart no justice." And then, he slipped from my side, his warmth evading me as he moved toward the tent. I looked at the flames before I rose to my feet, slowly making my way toward his tent. My long hair swayed as I walked before I bent to my knees and crawled inside. I saw him moving his armor to the side before his brown eyes connected with mine that mirrored his own. I pulled my hair to one side, feeling suddenly shy. He then moved his hand, presenting the bed roll before me. I let my slender fingers press against it for a moment before I looked to him. "Will you simply-"

"I will sit and keep guard while you sleep. The shelter of the tent will be fine for me, my lady."

I then nodded as I laid myself against the bed roll, pulling the small blanket over my smaller frame. I didn't realize how tired I really was until I allowed my eyes to close. Slumber gripped me and soon everything disappeared.

_My father, the great teyrn of Highever, Bryce Cousland, was dying before me. His blood pooled under his withering form and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My mother gripped him, tears in her eyes as she realized she was losing her husband, just like she had lost her grandson and daughter-in-law. We could hear the sound of our men dying as they fought against Howe's men. Tears welled in my eyes as I watched my father lean into my mother, defeat in his expression as I shook my head._

_"I love you both so much." I cried, watching as my mother turned to me. The look on her face broke my heart as she attempted to give me some kind of boost, some kind of reassurance._

_"Then live, darling."_

_I felt Duncan wrap his arm around my waist, pulling me free from my parents. I didn't want to leave them there, why couldn't I just stay and help defend them? I watched my mother stare at me as we ran, watched as the soldiers that fought for my father, die at the blades of a traitorous bastard._

_Howe._

I didn't realized I had been calling out to my parents in my sleep. I did, however, feel the touch of a hand against my shoulder as Duncan roused me awake. I screamed, jolting up from the bed roll with sweat rolling down my neck, tears falling from my eyes as I slowly looked to the senior Gray Warden. He looked tired, but concerned as his hand gripped my shoulder. I stared at him for the longest time, realizing that I had just been dreaming. Dreaming of what had transpired that very evening. That it had not been a terrible nightmare that I had woken from. It all had happened.

It caused tears to tremble down my face, my resolve dissolving in a matter of moments as my hands went to either side of my head. I had finally been left alone with my thoughts. The thoughts of my parents' sacrifice, the death of my family, and those who I had spent my days with. It had all come crashing down and I realized that it had all been taken from me and it wasn't a sick joke my brain had played on me. It was reality. My reality.

"Oh Maker, no." I cried, my fingers gripping my dark brown hair as I shook my head in denial. I felt Duncan's hand press against my shoulder, trying to shake me from my despair. He soon realized that I needed this time, I needed this moment to grieve. Soon, my life would be filled with battle strategies and war tactics. I wouldn't have time to grieve properly again for a long time. My moist, brown eyes finally looked to Duncan as the tears trembled down my bereft face, my fingers sliding down the skin of my cheeks before I felt him move closer to me. I shuddered, feeling the older man embrace me, a gesture that shocked me. His hand rested against my back while the other held the back of my neck, as if he were cradling me against him. My face rested against the edge of his shoulder, tears trembling in my eyelids, begging to release as I shuddered against him.

"I am truly sorry, my lady...They will be avenged."

I allowed my eyes to close at that moment, my body relaxing against his as my face buried into his shoulder. My arms wrapped around him in return, my hands resting against his shoulders blades. I took comfort in the man as he held me tightly. I knew that he wasn't the type for invading personal space, or for engaging in such things, but I appreciated the comfort. I was never one for crying, even when things went wrong in my normal day to day. I had been tough, resilient. The kind of person my father could be proud of. But what was there left to do when you lose everything you ever cared about?

Once I begin, I couldn't seem to stop as Duncan held me in his arms for what felt like hours. I was afraid to fall back asleep, fearing that I would be met with the image of my parents dying yet again. I feared the Fade and what it would show me, what it would force me to endure. Duncan did his best to comfort me, hoping that I would fall asleep eventually. And of course, I did, after a long period of internal struggle and defiance.

I awoke to the sound of Duncan's steady breathing. I looked up to see him laying there, asleep with me still firmly cradled against him. I removed my hand from his chest, my eyes scanning the interior of the tent before I slowly lifted myself away from him. My hair hung around my face, unkempt as I pulled the tent open to see that the fire had died long ago. Maverick was fast asleep just a foot or so from the tent entrance, sound and content. I looked up at the sky, seeing the approaching sun creep over the horizon. Morning would break soon, and knowing the man beside me, he would be rousing at any moment. I looked back down at him, my long hair framing my delicate features as my hand reached out to him.

My fingertips brushed against his cheek, feeling the hair of his beard for a moment. A gentle man, one who could have made a wonderful husband. Who could have been a father and lived out his life like any normal commoner could. Yet, he chose this life. A life of constant battles and bloodshed. He sacrificed a normal life to help defend the land against any Blight that were to occur. A commendable and noble sacrifice. It was a shame that he would have to live out the rest of his life alone.

Suddenly, there was movement. I gasped as I felt his hand against my wrist, his brown eyes opening as he looked up at me. He slowly sat up, his hand still gripping my wrist as he looked down at me intensely. I felt a heat bubbling in my stomach as I stared up at him, meeting the intensity of his gaze. What would he say, what would he do? My lips parted, trembling slightly as his thumb moved against the soft skin of the palm of my hand. I felt my chest rise and fall rapidly as I moved closer to him, the heat of his chest against my stomach. Then, he let his gaze pull away from mine before speaking.

"I hope you had a decent rest. We must continue onward to Ostagar."

Then it was back to business. He slipped out of the tent without another word, leaving me sitting there speechless yet again. I stared, blinking rapidly as my mouth hung open rather stupidly. Had I expected anything more from him? Honestly? I turned my gaze to follow him as he went about gathering our supplies. I slipped out from the tent, my eyes on him for a moment. I almost pitied the way he lived his life. Never having anyone truly close to him. Not a woman to speak of. Not everything was about love and having someone like that in your life, but why not? Weren't Gray Wardens allowed to love?

As he grabbed a hold of his pack, he turned to look back at me. In that moment, our gazes locked again and he just stared at me for a long time. Was he making sure I was alright? I didn't quite understand the meaning of his pause, but it was then over almost as soon as it had occurred. I slipped back into the tent to put my armor back on, locking the leather buckles together seamlessly. As I reemerged, watching as he strapped his armor on, I pulled my blades from the ground and strapped them effortlessly to my back. We would continue onward from here, heading to our destination. It was from there that I would partake in the Joining ritual and become a full fledged Gray Warden. He didn't exactly give away any specifics of the ritual, except that it was a secret. He was rather cryptic that man. If he wasn't so proper, I'd think he was yanking me around. As he finished packing everything up, he turned back to me with a sigh. He reached down, placing his hand against my shoulder, staring down at me. After a silent moment was exchanged, we moved on from our camp, and continued on our journey. We would never speak again of the night we shared. Nor would we get the chance.

I will always be grateful to him. He saved my life more than once. I just wish I had been able to return the favor.


End file.
